"Put them on, I'll be with you in a sec," she says, showing the mass oflight blue, slippery fabric in my hands.I feel like everyone can hear the loud ...issing sound the pants make as Ipull them up my legs. I fumble with the rest of my clothes and I manage toclose the zipper on my left side just a second before she knocks on thedoor."All ready?"Suddenly I want to tell her to go away, that I'm not ready and that I'llnever be ready or at least one more minute because I've remembered thatthere are. ..EWW!" She reached behindher and pulled out a pizza box. Not the new one from which we were theneating, alas. This was old, but still filled with crumbs and gummy smearsof sauce and cheese. And a corner of it had somehow found its way intoher butt.She jumped up. "Ew! Ew! Ew!" Turning around, she pointed to the offendedarea and asked, "Tell me, have I got any on me?" I chuckled. That wasseriously bad timing. "Low life! Gutter mind! Just tell me if you seepizza there."I looked. "Well, I do see. Once back at our house, we all had a cup of hot chocolate and some of the leftover Christmas dessert as we talked for a little while before heading up to bed. Once we were alone, Diane and I made gentle love with each other.Diane and I spent the next day just being with each other - talking a little, listening to music, holding hands, and so on. Susan and Holly both left us to ourselves as much as possible, preferring to go off and do their own thing. Mom spent half the day on her volunteer. Before the Slapfest1 – Caution: First things first, please, remove any and all jewelry from the hand, especially protruding objects, as the impact of hard objects on the face can significantly increase the damage potential.2 – Get clean!: The skin on the face can be rather sensitive not only to impact, but to bacteria and general uncleanliness. Do your willing target a favor and wash your hands before beginning to avoid the transfer of germs.3 – Slap thyself. Go ahead. Slap yourself. I’ve never.
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