Myvoice softened.Slowly, it all didn't seem so outrageous to wear a Handmaiden's outfirtMen had started most the wars on this planet. Throughout histo...y, men hadcheated on most of their vows. Maybe there was a kinder, gentler way.Yeah, maybe I was beaten down. But suddenly, the clothes didn't seem likeso much to ask. Not if you were committing to a church. I tried to readthe scriptures in Theresa's voice, to accept them, to embrace them."Who are the Handmaidens, really?" I asked out of the blue. She shooed him away after three months, when he'd admitted to a growing attraction to Ellie Moore, whom he'd met at his office. Grace told him he needed to get himself a nice girl of his own age. She didn't tell him about the baby he had made, which was what she had wanted all along. She wasn't keen on the idea of having a man around the house more or less permanently, and she didn't tell him that, either. She figured if he knew about her pregnancy, he'd be demanding she marry him or something,. Suddenly I understood how my surprise just a minute earlier could have been hurtful to her. As much as I viewed her as "innocent", I bet that wasn't how she viewed herself. In fact, I realized she was fighting internally against that perception and all it entailed. I wanted to hit my head against the wall. She also realized her mistake. She put her hands in front of her mouth. "I'm sorry…" she breathed.I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I just realized how my surprise a minute ago must. “Now your turn,” she said and lifted up her skirt and pushed the pillow up to her face.I knew what was coming that next time, and somehow I knew it would be the last time. I was wearing my sweatpants in breathless anticipation of Kana pulling them down and finally putting her lips and mouth where I had been dreaming about for way too long. Somehow I made it to that day and she was there in my room. All business this time. “Sorry if you are mad that I said I wouldn’t ... you know ... with you.”.
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